Subject: Park Jimin, born October 13, 1995 — Libra

Performed: May 29, 2018

Original Post Date: May 30, 2018

Video Version Uploaded: July 23, 2018

Spread: Elemental Alignment, original design by BlueMoonPunch

Deck Used: The Wild Unknown: Animal Spirit by Kim Krans

Time: 1 hour and 20 minutes

Details: The Elemental Alignment reading is designed to showcase an individual's energetic alignment and balance with the elements, then compare it to that of the Higher Self's alignments.

VIDEO VERSION AVAILABLE

*The video version includes cleaner narration and “2020 Notes” to elaborate and clarify points made in the original reading in 2018.

Initial Impression (pre-reading):

The duality found within the image of a sunset - There is a duality to Park Jimin that mirrors that of a setting sun. There is a part you see and there is a part that you do not. The part you see is the one that projects the most, the one that still brings light and warmth to you specifically. As for the part that you don’t see, the part that has already set below the horizon, you don’t know what’s going on there and it’s possible Jimin doesn’t either as most of his focus is on fueling what he projects, fueling his persona.

There is a battle within himself in the realms of self-perception - The need to project, to play a part and constantly perform is stemming from a place of reflection. Not self-reflection, but a literal standing in the mirror and seeing other people standing next to himself, seeing a certain image in his head and feeling the need to live up to it. It comes from a place of needing to be loved. A very Libra quality. A quality of an underdeveloped libra. Yes, he spreads love constantly, acts as a peacemaker, tends to settle energy and bring comfort to other people, but this is projected, it is external. He doesn’t do the same for himself internally

He has little ability to apply logic to his own perceptions of himself - He has a core of balanced Air energy, and I see this image in my head, again, of projection, of that core energy fueling those external alignments (the fire). What’s interesting is that his elemental air alignment is actually water. Water contradicts air and fire, and to make matters worse that particular card, the starfish, is a lesser water spirit. The fact that it is in balance simply means that there is no tension there, that he is not aware or doesn’t care that his logical and intellectual self is being ruled by emotional instability and superficiality. It’s interesting.

The Reading:

(Big picture impression)

Jimin is made up of pure projection, his image of what he wants himself to be (and most likely what most people are willing to see of him) is what he puts his energy into, it’s what he shines the light on. I thought it was interesting that fire would dominate his alignment with a core energy of air, while his Air alignment on its own is an undeveloped water energy. Keeping that in mind it’s even more interesting, and somewhat concerning, that his higher self is in a water state of emotional cleansing, emotional outpour, a very honest and self-reliant state of expression and validation.

Jimin himself is nowhere near his higher self, he is so fully out of alignment that you’d have to wonder if his physical body isn’t constantly in pain due to how out of balance he actually is with his soul. At the moment, and for the foreseeable future, Jimin is in a place of pure projection and emotional instability. He is playing a role and then suddenly forgetting his lines, writing a story and then suddenly forgetting how to hold a pen. It’s a cycle of very intense ups and downs, fantasy, and reality, but he’s used to it, it’s familiar to him and it feels like he considers it to simply be upset when he hits those lows, just something to get over and forget about, not something he should be working through.

It would seem to me that even though he has the grand Libra gift of being aware of the true thoughts and feelings of other people, he can not separate himself from his own perception of himself and what he should be, and then puts that on other people, waits for validation from others (there’s that “praise kink” of his). It’s really weird because it’s like he knows that people are happy with how he is now, that people love him as he is now, but he’s so wrapped up in the image of himself that he has in his head, that is based on the image of other people, that he is almost trying to get people to agree with him that he can be better than what he is by pointing out the exceptional things that he does. I really have no idea how to explain it, lol. I can see it crystal clear, but I can’t write it crystal clear — very Jimin of me.

• Post-Reading Note: This actually was quite a messy read, honestly his energy is very back and forth, so during the actual reading I kept going back to the first page of his reading in my notebook and adding more notes, so I will include them here just to help keep things in perspective with the analysis of the individual cards.

  • The fire energy makes him attractive to everyone in the same way that the projected Sun energy makes a Leo attractive to everyone. State of projection, he is aware of this level, very aware of his ability to attract people and hold a gaze. Issues with perceptions of the body and physical appearance.

  • He is not self-sacrificing in the sense that he is in a mentality of “give, give, give”, he is more so in a state of “take, take, take, please take from me, I will sacrifice myself for your love and approval”. There is frustration there because he feels like he’s not getting enough in return, sacrificing an arm and a leg for something that costs one finger. Upset that most people don’t take all that he gives in spite of the fact that no one is asking him to sacrifice himself. He just feels like he has to. Low self-esteem. Feels like he’s not worthy of the love and praise he asks for.

  • It’s a calculated exchange of energy between his internal self (the dark sun) and his external self (the projected persona). He is aware that he is playing a part, but he is wrapped up in the cycle of it and unable to break out of it. That’s the whole thing with Lie, so he is self-aware, aware of the cycle at least, of those ups and downs.

  • He embraces the fog, the illusion of what he does and how he does it, he justifies it by holding onto an image of perfection that he can embody in order to be loved unconditionally. He bypasses the illogical thought process around the concept of being able to obtain unconditional love through self-sacrifice.

Current State of Core Energy: Peacock - Air

This card is putting on a show.

As soon as this card flew out of the deck I immediately felt like I had just been lied to, like full on told that the sky was green. This card felt wrong before I even opened the book to read its description, however, I did not feel a need to put it back and the deck and shuffle again.

This card is Jimin, this really is his core energy. It’s a fucking peacock, the showiest bird to every show itself, and when does it show itself the most? When it’s trying to be loved. I’m so angry with this card, but it demands a place in this reading.

What really made me keep this card even though it felt like a whole fucking lie in and of itself is the actual image on the card. The image itself screams what I had been feeling within Jimin’s energy in the initial impression. The bird itself is brightly colored, blues and yellows, very flamboyant and mystical, very attractive to the eye, but that bird is dead behind the eyes. It’s even got a frown on it! Not only that, the way this image was drawn makes it look like that blue color isn’t really part of the peacock. There is a break in its blue and green coloring towards the bottom of its neck, making it look like it’s literally been painted, like it’s put on makeup, it’s put on a mask of a showy, flamboyant nature. Are you picking up what I’m putting down with this card?

This card’s description in the book is literally that of self-acceptance, and the fact that this felt like a boldface lie before I even read it kind of digs deep and really echoes that potential of self-awareness being there enough to know that he needs to put those colors on, needs to put on a show, but not enough to know that he needs to bear the expression that matches. It’s that image of the setting sun again, the bright projection and the hidden negativity that’s just out of your line of sight.

Elemental Water Alignment: Cheetah - Fire

He is looking for love, he is willing to buy love.

This is an “in balance” alignment, however, it is still water and fire mixing. For there can never really be a positive alignment of fire and water, there’s no good in acting on emotional impulse, acting without thinking. Relying on intuition and gut feeling is one thing, but this, obviously, is a card of movement, of action more than passion. It’s boiling water — again, that unstable emotion.

Of course, with boiling water you get steam, and I think I mentioned in Namjoon’s reading that Fire can quite literally evaporate emotion, turn it into Air, put you in a place of pure logic. Water, your emotions, can snuff out the fire as well, can literally keep you from doing things — depression puts you in a lower vibrational energy, it holds you down. We’re somewhere in between with this placement for Jimin. An anxiety that keeps him away from things, but also such a profound energy that puts him in that place of his core energy, that air, and logic, but also in that place of putting on a show.

It’s kind of like his anxiety is around the potential of showing his real emotions, projecting light onto that dark side of the sun, really being honest. It’s like he’ll say something, he’ll break down and say something without thinking and immediately regret it, immediately think “I shouldn’t have said that.”

With this card as well I really do feel an essence of the Divine Feminine, that inward feeling, inward seeking is coming through there and it has more to do with that fluid motion of the cheetah as it runs and stalks. Jimin’s dancing I feel is his most well-adapted form of emotional expression. It doesn’t involve talking, potentially saying too much, there’s no need to cry or look week, it is just another show, and he can play it off as just another show if he wants to.

Basically, if you can think about it like this: Air (his core) is feeding that Fire that is boiling and evaporating the Water (his emotional state, free expression) and reverting it back into Air. I have no doubt that this specifically is the cycle that he is stuck in, that fear of expressing himself fully, fear of seeming not perfect or actually showing that he is not stable, that he is not always capable of being the one that brings balance and stability to other people as he is unable to bring balance and stability to himself. He is really keeping secrets here.

• Post-Reading Note: so after the reading, I realized that the fog, that steam, or evaporated emotion was like… everywhere. I’m pretty sure it’s what made this reading so messy, why I had to keep going back and making notes — honestly you should see my notebook. Basically, I meditated on that fog and did some automatic writing because I thought it would put things into perspective and I’ll throw it in here just as it is in my notebook.

  • The Fog - he embraces the fog here, holds it in his core because the fog is the illusion. The illusion is the image of perfect love and perfection itself. He is literally offering all of that fire energy to his emotional side, it’s a calculated trade-off and the source of his passion for what he does. He thinks that doing what he does will not so much make him happy but make him not sad. What will make him not sad is obtaining perfection in the eyes of himself and the eyes of other people.

  • In his mind perfection will lead to perfect love — unconditional love. Obviously, however, the love he will get (and is getting) is not unconditional, it is based on how he looks, how he performs, and how he is able to make other people feel through this projected persona. Friends and family, of course, love him unconditionally, but the people he is putting a show on for, the whole rest of the fucking world, does not love him, they love the image of him, and that is the exact image that he hasn’t actually achieved, and the reason he hasn’t achieved an image that he is satisfied with is because he’s not actually looking for a different face, different body, a great god almighty voice, or flawless dancing, he is looking for that unconditional love. He is aware of the conditions of the love he receives now but is not fully aware that he is the one presenting the conditions. He’s sad all the time.

  • His own idea of perfection in love, that unconditional love, can not be obtained because he feels the need to sacrifice parts of himself for it. There’s nothing left to truly love when you’ve thrown yourself into the fire.

Elemental Fire Alignment: Gazelle - Fire

Hypervigilance

This is fire on fire with an animal that I can’t help but picture standing at a waterhole. This is a high vibrational alignment and it makes sense considering he is fueling this from his core and that his willfully being dominated by that fire energy. With this card, however, taking into consideration his Libra energy, I really zeroed in on the note of hypervigilance in the description of the card. Again, it’s an alignment that is “in balance” but it still reads negative to me.

I think because Jimin is projecting so much, all of these cards are very visually reliant in this reading in particular. Much like the peacock card, when I look at this card I see Jimin very blatantly. There’s a sense of static, constant stimulation, which is what you would get with a double fire alignment, but with this, it feels very external, like on this skin, a very aggravating and anxiety-inducing placement.

With his Libra energy Jimin is just naturally aware of other people and their thoughts and their feelings, and what fuels his passion, literally what his career is based around is being aware of cameras, being aware of the angles, being aware of all the eyes, being sure to wave at everyone, being sure that everything is being presented just right.

It’s almost like he shrinks down in this, like the light he projects actually goes so much further than what you might expect. “Don’t be like a prey,” literally. He literally has to tell himself that, and I think people can see that — that he tries to be a dominating presence, tries to maintain his footing, but he can… basically, vibrate right onto his ass. The gazelle is prey, and even at the waterhole it can’t relax, it is in constant state of hypervigilance because it is necessary to its survival, it is necessary for Jimin to be hyper-aware of the thoughts and opinions of other people pertaining to his image, his body, what he does and how he does it.

The sun in the background, right behind the gazelle’s head is that stimulation, that constant awareness, and because of its facial markings, it literally looks like its crying. What it feels like, physically, is a panic attack. Like being overstimulated, too many people in one room, too much sound, and you’re just stuck standing still, can’t make yourself move, can’t make yourself talk, and you’re just standing there crying and you’re almost not even aware of it. Almost.

But the show must go on, right?

Elemental Earth Alignment: Lizard - Fire

A sense of self-based on external influence

This is indicative of a sense of self that is solely reliant on what other people think — a lizard’s body temperature is solely reliant on how hot or how cold their environment is. What other people think of him, what they say about him, how they treat him has a tremendous effect on his perception of himself (back to the “praise kink”) This, of course, means that his perception of himself can change day to day, hour to hour and there’s really no stability in that, there’s no real and true sense of self.

Jimin reflects his environment in a very Libra way. He is only as stable as his surroundings, only as confident in himself as other people are. It’s very much a subconscious channel of “I am them, I am this place, I am the image, and if I can’t see that image reflecting in the mirror as clearly as I can see it in my head, there is no stability, there is no foundation, no ground to walk on.”

That’s the thing about Jimin — it seems that he is very reliant on the affirmations of other people when it comes to how well he is doing at something, but if he can’t see it himself it invalidates everything. For instance, like what we saw in Burn The Stage, he would not listen to the staff member who said he had done a great job even though he had made a mistake (one that was literally not noticeable at all). He invalidated that affirmation because that mistake that he was aware of did not match the image of someone who is a perfect singer, a perfect performer. He had a breakdown because of a mistake that was barely noticeable.

His stability is reliant on the image, the affirmation of the image, and him actually being the image. If even one of those things slips, it’s a whole landslide. This is an alignment that leads to breakdowns, mental, emotional, physical. His constant need for approval, for praise, is not a funny “praise kink” it is literally him seeking stability, trying to avoid a breakdown.

• Post-Reading Note: Just to further clarify this point — written as they are in my notebook)

  • Between Self-Perception and Logic - he seeks out approval from a place of wanting to ground, like actually grounding. If you think about an active grounding meditation you are not reliant on yourself to be able to ground, you are relying on your connection to the earth and your surroundings. You can not ground yourself, grounding is establishing an external connection.

  • Then there’s his poor logic, the fog. When he is seeking praise he is seeking a foundation, he is seeking validation, when he seeks validation he is ultimately looking in the mirror and asking someone else, “Do you see what I see?” What he sees is what is in his head, not what is actually reflecting, not what people actually see. He can break down his own foundation upon seeing that he himself does not match the image in his head. The lack of logic comes from the fact that while in this place of self-judgment he does not believe what others say even though he is actively seeking out their opinions. This is because self-judgment is looking in the mirror, looking in the mirror is self-focus, self-focus is an internal connection, not external. This is not grounding. This is an internal dive and seeking praise is like trying to lay a path of printer paper over a bustling river to try and make it across. It doesn’t work. It’s absolute nonsense to think that it would.

  • Not having the perfect vocals that he hears in his head, not performing the choreography as flawlessly as he envisions, not having the right face or the right body does not match the image in his head and that alone overrules the opinions of others and takes away all potential for stability.

Elemental Air Alignment: Starfish - Water

It’s like he barely exists in reality when it comes to how he sees himself.

First off, I want to include the actual description of this card. Keep in mind this is his Air alignment, his logic, and intellect being represented by an underdeveloped water energy, underdeveloped emotional expression. It’s that fog shit again.

Bitch... Come on.

As I said, this is an underdeveloped water energy, underdeveloped emotional expression, and awareness. This is the actual fog state that is covering up that intellect, that air energy, which really lines up with the fact that his Air core is basically a lie, it’s superficial, it’s painted, his logic is illogical and emotionally driven even though he thinks he’s hiding his emotions, even though he thinks he’s actually in control.

His logic of perfection is coming from a place of “this is how I need to be because this is how this person is.” It’s that reflection, that comparing himself to others, a rather negative trait of Libras. Basically, it’s like he modeled the perfect image in his head after something or someone else that actually exists and therefore sees it as something that is obtainable because it has been obtained by others.

If you can’t understand the flaw here, adopt these mindsets for just a second:

• “Unconditional love is real, it exists in the world, and I can get it by cutting off parts of myself that people don’t like.”

• “I’ve seen someone with the perfect body. The perfect body has been obtained by someone and I can obtain it too. I’ll do everything I can to look like them and I’ll be a failure if I look in the mirror and don’t see that person looking back at me.”

That’s where his head is at. It’s a flawed, emotionally unstable way of thinking that he is putting off as logical thinking, a sort of “well, of course!” sort of attitude towards it. This is where his self-awareness stops clean.

Throwing away parts of himself will not bring him, unconditional love. His bones are not going to shift with the fat when he loses it. His face is not going to morph overnight, but subconsciously he thinks it will, he thinks it should, he thinks he’s failed when it doesn’t. Jimin literally cannot be the perfect image in his head because the perfect image in his head isn’t even him, it’s quite literally another person, not just a “better version of himself”. It is simply illogical to think that he could get there, especially with the way he does it.

This alignment on my end feels very casual almost, but at the same time, it feels very urgent.

Higher Self Core Alignment: Frog - Water

A calling for an emotional purge.

Again, I would like to share with you the description of this card:

Jimin’s higher self, his fully aligned being is in a state of emotional release, a very honest place of healing. The image I got with this card after reading the description was that of Jimin’s scene in Fake Love where he’s in that room and those ports open up and the water just cascades out around him. Compare that image to all the other MVs where his water was always in a bathtub or a tank, completely contained and only observed and experienced by him. That difference in the image is the same difference in Jimin’s core and Jimin’s higher self, where he is and where he needs to be.

In the image from Fake Love, it really is the exact opposite. In Fake Love Jimin is not touched by the water, he is not taking it in. It has built up and is now releasing in tidal waves with no real concern for who or what is standing in the way. It is a raw expression, brutal honesty. This is his higher self, fully aligned. Clarity in emotion, clarity in expression, a real freedom to feel and to process what he feels. It’s purging.

I find this quite interesting simply because I’ve seen this before for Jimin. I have a reading on my shop called Waist Deep and I designed it specifically to help people get out of negative mindsets and bad situations that are self-inflicted. When I have new spreads I like to test them on celebrities because I know them, but I don’t, you know? I did this reading on Jimin and almost completely, down to the fire and water, is it reflected here in this reading.

I won’t give any details about specific issues, but what was the most important in the Waist Deep reading is that the only way Jimin can get out of this negative mindset, this negative way of being within himself, is to literally hit rock bottom. There were literal images of fire in that reading, both in the cards and in my mind, images of letting things burn, letting things get destroyed completely. All the fire in this reading here, this cycle that he’s stuck in between letting his “logic” fuel his actions and passion, and letting his action and passion evaporate his emotion, and letting that foggy emotion cloud his logic — all of that is building up into something that could potentially lead to a bigger break down, a destruction of the self, which would be necessary. I think succumbing to this, learning to let these things be felt, learning to be self-reliant, self-satisfied is part of his life path.

In the Waist Deep reading the image of recovery was literally Jimin coming out of a burned forest where the trees were literally just towers of ash with seeds in his pockets. Scorched, burned, scarred, but with new potential, something new to plant, a new beginning. In order to get there though, like I said, he would have to let this fire burn him, burn everything. He would have to let everything go, like really just let everything burn, let himself burn, let that image in his mind burn, let his need for validation burn. He needs to burn the skin so that he can heal it, break the spine so he can set it straight.

It’s sort of a sad state to be in, very isolating, but he does have a support system. We all know that. He does have people that really love him as he is and they are there to teach him what that actually means, and in spite of everything, I really do see those seeds very clearly, that potential to reach the higher self in this lifetime. It’s just not going to be an easy journey.

Final Thoughts:

This reading was a bit more difficult for me not so much in the sense that it was hard to get a clear answer, it was difficult in the sense that things were almost too clear. When I connect with an energy I only take what people want me to have, what people are willing to lend out, and because Jimin is literally projecting this Sun-like energy, it just really fucking hit hard and in a very cold way. As I mentioned, the first card out of the deck felt like a lie. The first note in my notebook for this reading was “I’m being duped.” It honestly felt like he was in the room with me, picking cards out the deck and laying them down for me and saying, “this is me. Just so you know, this is me.”

It’s not him. It’s his projection. It’s his image, and as I broke it down more, looked at those alignments you can really see that, but it’s not really something that is hidden, right? About halfway through the reading, and halfway through typing this I wondered if I should even post this because I was like, eh, kind of personal, but it’s really not. This is still what he projects, this is still what he lets people know. Like, we know that he has issues with self-perception, issues with his body, a need for validation — this is all stuff we know, that we see, and that he does share. Literally, I only tapped into that projected energy, I didn’t even think to try to dig into that “dark side of the sun”, that hidden part of the sunset.

So, I am comfortable sharing this, I’m just sad, lol. This is sad energy and it’s heavy and it’s overstimulating. I have fucking heartburn right now, but It was enjoyable. It’s always very enjoyable for me to really have a strong connection with someone’s energy no matter the context of that energy, and that’s what I got here.

I am going to leave you with two cards that — of course — fell out of the deck and onto the floor when I was closing out this reading. I don’t really feel a need to give a full explanation for them, but they feel significant nonetheless.

Thank you so much for reading. It was a bit of a long one, so I appreciate your time here.